Since engagement parties and that sort of thing are coming up in the summer months, J and I have started creating our registry, and it feels weird. I can’t get over the feeling that it’s a bit selfish and presumptive to create a list of things you want to circulate around. Sigh. Here’s the thing though… it’s kind of necessary nowadays. Most couples (including us) are living in sin before the wedding and have already started building a house, and don’t need a new toaster/bread-knife/toilet paper roll holder etc. We sure don’t… I mean, our kettle died a few weeks ago and I’ve always wanted a Bodum, but we’re not talking about a full stocking here and we certainly don’t have room to store a china set.
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| We're not registering for a china set but this Kate Spade one is divine...Rethink? |
A registry is a great way to influence the ever-flowing generosity that seems to surround weddings (geez, people are nice). It gives people an idea of what you need, and with today’s online tools it makes it easier to shop, too! Even if you have everything you need it’s a good idea to register for some stuff because some folks just want to give you a keepsake rather than a gift card, and since everyone has different tastes it’s a good place to demonstrate yours… Everyone wants you to actually use what they’ve given you.
For today’s post I thought I’d write a bit about registries – things I’ve thought about and tools I’ve come across.
Basics
Register at a few different places, but don’t go bananas. Three is a fairly good bet, as it offers variety and still is easy to manage. When you’re looking into registering somewhere, ask lots of questions – you should find out what their return/exchange policy is (say yes to gift cards/exchanges, and no to deadlines!), if people can shop online, and how often they’ll update your list. Ask about shipping – do your guests pay extra? Is it included? Many places also offer you a certain percentage off for a while after – a “completion package” so to speak where you can fill in the gaps for things still left on your list at a lower price.
Think about where you’re registering, and what it’ll mean if you get gift cards, duplicates, or want to return something. I think that department stores are really great in that if you’re left with some gift cards/receipts at the end, it’ll cover all sorts of needs. One too many toasters? Buy a new pillow. Changed your mind about the Slap Chop? Grab a set of tea towels. The thing about the real specialty stores is that if you end up with a little flow at the end you might already have all of the vintage linens/hand-painted ceramics/ergonomic garden tools you need.
Sign up for items at a variety of price points – low, medium, and high. You want to have a bit of variety here so that the late-comers aren’t stuck with things that are ballin’ out of control without someone to go in with, or at the other end of the spectrum left with plastic straws and a wooden spoon.
Check back fairly often – as things come off the list you want there to be a good selection available. No one wants to get stuck with measuring spoons, 3 napkins and a toilet brush. Lame.
List Your Registry On Your Wedding Website
I know I haven’t talked about wedding websites yet… I’ll do it now. Make one. And put your registry on it. It’s easy for everyone to access. We use Weddingwire.com – I’ve talked about this already – and love it.
On another note it’s considered gauche to put where you’re registered on your paper invite, so if you must do it the old-fashioned way (sans website) have your bridal party spread the word.
Register For Non-Stuff
By this I mean honeymoons, event tickets, and other such coupley things that you can do together rather than use together. There are sites where guests can buy you stocks, down-payments, and your honeymoon (thought I can’t speak about the first two having had no direct experience).
J and I have registered on Honeyfund.com and love it for a variety of reasons… We’re both broke-ass med students (well not so much broke as fathoms below in a sea of debt), and have our fair share of kitchen utensils, so for us the perfect honeymoon to recharge before starting residency is the ultimate gift. I think that Honeyfund is the best because it’s completely customizable, and most importantly completely FREE – there are no charges/debits from what your guests give, and you aren’t responsible for some sort of service charge at the end. People can give online to a Paypal account, or you can create a great list of things you’d love people to contribute to and they can bring you a bit of moolas at the wedding itself. It just keeps a track of what’s been given and also puts a tangible idea next to their gift of cash – a moonlight dinner for two, or a couples massage for example. They’re buying you a memory. No strings attached.
Use This
Amazon Universal Wish List. BEST. TOOL. EVER.
This amazing gadget allows you to create a single registry list from ANY ONLINE SHOP YOU LIKE! It compiles it all to one list, and keeps a track of all purchases for FREE (and super easy to use). So if you guys really want new backpacks but there’s no registry at your local outdoor store, you can find it online and click a button and VOILA – accessible to all. I adore this.
Register For Charitable Donations
This is a trend that I hope sticks around – for the couple that really has it all already, you can register for donations so that guests give in your name. Then even lonely baby abandoned animals can celebrate your special day. Did I guilt you into this one successfully?
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"I can have cheez-wedding?"
(a little pop culture for ya) |
A Word About Thank You Notes
Write them as soon as possible, within a couple of weeks of returning from your honeymoon. Keep a track of who has given what as you open gifts to keep things simple. Another sweet thing to do (and this also divvies up the work) is to have your new hubby-dubby write the notes to those invited on your side and vice-versa – it’s a nice touch. Be sure to reference what you’ve been given and to acknowledge how you will use it – someone has been generous to you, so make them personal!
So that’s what I think. I’d love to hear what your thoughts are on registering – what unique ideas, useful tips and awesome tools do you have to share?
